


How I Met Your Grandmakitty

by Rosella_Burgundy



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crookshanks' POV, F/M, Fluff and Crack, Just Add Kittens
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-28
Updated: 2020-02-28
Packaged: 2021-02-20 05:41:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22944082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rosella_Burgundy/pseuds/Rosella_Burgundy
Summary: Old Crookshanks is ready to share his memories with his grandkittens.
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Charlie Weasley
Comments: 9
Kudos: 49
Collections: HeartofAspen: A Gift Collection





	How I Met Your Grandmakitty

**Author's Note:**

  * For [HeartOfAspen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeartOfAspen/gifts).



> Alpha/Beta love to RooOJoy.
> 
> To HeartOfAspen. You are one of the few kind people in this fandom. The small Facebook group you created was a safe and useful place. Thanks for everything you have done for me as a writer and friend. I wish this little drabble was enough to show you how much you are appreciated. Unfortunately, my muse hasn't been kind to me lately.
> 
> It's pure kitten crack :) Crookshanks made me do it.

"Gather round, kittens, for I'm about to take you on a magical journey across time and space."

Crookshanks was old, his name now reflecting his shape and movements perfectly. While he was proudly resting on the fluffiest sofa in the house, he finally came to terms with the ephemerality nature of his nine lives. Time had come to pass along his story.

Every day after his royal supper of shredded tuna, he meowed and mewled until all his grandkittens were sitting still before him. Of course, it took him hours to herd all those rambunctious balls of fur, especially Evie, but he usually managed to have a full audience by bedtime. His tales were always captivating and held a vital lesson. Tonight was important because he would finally tell the story of his life in Romania and how he met the pussy of his life.

* * *

_ The little cage she stuffed me into finally stops its nauseating dance in the air as Hermione places me on a flat surface. A low growling meow escapes my mouth, and she shushes me like I'm some sort of frivolous pet. I hate when she carries me around in such an undignified contraption. _

_ The door opens, and I sprint out of that infernal prison, my tail finally free to fluff out in all its majesty. I lick my side in a desperate attempt to smooth my fur. There's a man in the room. He's a ginger, like me, except the red looks better on me. I know him somehow. _

_ "Hi, Charlie," my companion greets him, and I remember. He's part of the ginger pride of the Weasleys. Without asking for permission, he bends at his knees and scratches behind my ear. If he thinks he can just touch me at willing, he has another thing coming. I hiss and swat at him, my claws sinking into his flesh. With a gasp that pleases my ego, the moron retracts his hand. I sit with a smug feline smirk and lick my paw to better clean behind my ear where his filthy human fingers touched me. As I prance away, I hear Hermione apologizing for my behaviour. _

_ "Crookshanks doesn't like the carrier. He'll get over it once I feed him." _

_ Bitch. _

_ As I eat my delicious chicken dinner, I observe the shameful spectacle unfolding before me. Charlie and Hermione are discussing the use of dragon blood in potions and healing. He's leaning on the wall with his arms crossed to puff his muscles, a subtle smirk always dancing around his mouth. His blue eyes are set on a smoulder. This oversized ginger human has been unsuccessfully trying to mate with Hermione for years. I wish I could laugh. Instead, I meow in his direction to mock his useless mating ritual. My companion is too focused on her research and can't take a hint if it pounced on her. _

_ After some more useless flirting, Charlie invites her outside. Apparently, the sunset over the sanctuary is a sight to behold. _

_ I roll my eyes at the nauseating display of romanticism. I know Hermione will lure me to go with them with some treats, and I can’t resist. I flick my tail in the air in annoyance while I follow them to the top of a green hill. _

_ Well, I hate to admit it, but this ginger sod was right. The sun sinks beyond the distant mountains, projecting a kaleidoscope of hues on the valley below. Among the peaks, huge dragons hover and circle like a flock of giant birds. They’re far from graceful. I can feel the earth tremble as they land or take off. A cat wouldn’t be so clumsy. I don’t understand the human fascination with these filthy, giant creatures. _

_ Underneath the dragons’ dance, my human observes the sunset in awe. Her soft gaze soon moves to Weasley, her eyelashes batting slowly. _

_ I think he's finally onto something. He wraps a blanket around her shoulders, his massive body scooting closer to her smaller frame. As he looks down at her, his annoying crooked smile makes an appearance. Thankfully, it vanishes before he leans down to kiss her. _

_ I'd slowly clap if I had hands, but I'm a cat and I don't care. I stretch, my paws kneading into the soil. As I curl up in a fabulous ball, I hear my companion giggle in delight. _

_ An uncanny, warm feeling spreads through my sinuous body, and I realise that I'm happy for my human. I'm losing my feline touch, for all the sodding rats! _

* * *

"Grandpacat... I thought you were going to tell us how you met our Grandmakitty."

"Oh, yes, yes," in the latest times, memory failed Crookshanks, and he often lost his train of thoughts. "Well, you see, Duchess was the sanctuary cat. She used to hang out by the pantry. I conquered her favour with my mousing skills."

Sonny tilted his fluffy head in confusion and slightly hissed in disappointment. "That's it?"

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading :)


End file.
